Relationship - a meeting of personal realities

We are seeing a phase where relationship issues and conflicts are becoming common day by day. I would wonder why this happens, till I realized something very important. Let me explain with a simple scenario.

“Boy meets girl, somehow boy likes girl and girl likes boy. They decide to be in some relationship and all is rosy and lovely. One fine day, conflict XYZ happens between boy and girl and there seems to be no way out of the blame games and ego clashes. Finally, relationship goes for a toss. “

This might be an oversimplified version of events taken from a third person’s perspective. It made me wonder, boy knows girl and girl knows boy, so why is it that they cannot resolve the matter?

Over time I realized from my own experiences that relationship is a meeting of two individuals having their own personal realities. Their personal realities are two different worlds and both of them are aliens to the others world. Yes, sounds crazy but this is the truth. So what stops boy from knowing girl’s reality and vice versa. Well did they really care to know? The fact is that they don’t really care because they are busy pushing their own agendas and making oneself right. Also, there is a deep inhibition for expressing ones concerns fearing a reaction or indifference.

Knowing each other’s world is not stepping into personal freedom but truly stepping into our partner’s shoes with empathy to make our relationships work. It is time that we have another look at the way we perceive relationships and make a shift from filling voids in our own life with relationships to truly sharing and understanding each other’s wholeness and depth.

Simplicity – The Ultimate Sophistication

These days I am going EUREKA about a simple fact which I had always read and heard but had never experienced firsthand. Right from childhood I had heard about ‘Simple living and high thinking’ but never knew how this holds true in an era when we all jump for greater complexity. Our choice of vehicles, gadgets, clothes and lifestyle in general are instances of how we choose the complex in our leap towards the bigger and the better. Being a witness and sometimes a reluctant participant in this race to aim for the stars, I overlooked a basic premise that eternally holds true – Keeping it simple and getting the basics right.

When there is talk of simplicity, I am reminded of the zipper incident in the movie 3 Idiots. The lead character Rancho gives the example of a trouser zipper as a simple machine. However, this hurts the ego of the professor who prides himself on the complexity of what he teaches. One thing we all crave for is home food. What makes home food special is that the dishes are simple and basic without excessive spices, masalas, oils , flavors and ketchups. I never remember asking for chutney or ketchup while eating a cutlet or potato wedges or pakodas made at home.

There is something very 'like'able about simple people and simple situations. In school, we all loved the mathematics teacher who made the toughest problems seem like a cakewalk by simplifying things. Simplicity makes stuff more digestable to all. Classic oldie songs are cherished by all and even liked by modern generations, even though they have none of the beats and hungama of modern music. These songs were simple and one could soak in the undiluted concoction of lyrics, vocals and tunes.

The power of simple could impress the genius Da Vinci and made him state that, 'simplicity is the ultimate sophistication'. One has to be simple to truly innovate because you need to be conceiving something that is so real, that the complexity seekers would never touch that area. It doesn't surprise me at all that great ideas were shot at first sight. Keeping simple is indeed simple and straight. It is simple to make things appear complex for others and feed one's ego. However, to be in step with the universal harmony and strike a chord with existence, only simplest beats simple.

Solo Bike Ride - Lavasa!!!

After a prolonged monsoon, thanks to our negligent attitude towards the threats of climate change, I was rearing to make a long ride (So many donkeys left their machines switched on and left for diwali vacations). This diwali long weekend seemed to be the ideal time to move out with my cruiser. As usual, after fighting a battle against my sleep, I finally woke up at 7.30 AM in the morning. It was a tough call considering that I had terrible nausea the night before due to excess of sweets. The only motivator was the line “Abhi nahi to kabhi nahi”(Now or never) which kept coming to my mind every now and then. I finally got done with my ablutions and left at 9 AM, still unsure whether I would ride all the way up to Lavasa, after eating a complete delicious apple as breakfast ( An apple a day , keeps the doctor away … remember? ).

After going through the calm city traffic , I arrived at Chandni Chowk and the first signboard to Lavasa greeted me, LAVASA – 42kms straight. I liked the sight of it and there was no turning back now. If there was one word to describe the ride, it would be twisty. I encountered the various ghats like Piranghut, Mutha and Dasve with twisting curves. The stretch between Lavasa dam and the Lavasa entry gate had real ‘U’ curves, the kind I never encountered before. The weather was pleasant and I took many halts to capture the beautiful scenery on my humble cell phone camera. Tourists travelling with their families in the hired cars envied me and my freedom on wheels. I loved the attention they paid to my cruiser bike and allowed them to pose with my babe (bikeJ) for pics.

I was pleasantly surprised when the security personnel at the future city entry gate checked my number plate and allowed me to enter the township. I had read in blogs and heard from friends that bikes were not allowed inside but this was a welcome development. After Dasve road, I reached the lake town and found myself very hungry. I decided to have a sub, a decision I regretted dearly. Salad and bread, you call that food?! ..Sick! After the so-called lunch, I decided to stroll and enjoy the view around the lake.I felt I was roaming in a European city. The ride back home was speedier and I decided to stay high on the throttle. It was a pleasure to speed through the villages – herds of goats, sheep and cattle made me brake. It was welcome, the countryside belongs to them. I was amazed at the extent to which we urban folks are detached from our country’s rural reality. There seems to be no going back once we are stuck in this collective and deceptive great urban Indian dream.

I am looking forward to many such long (and even longer) rides. Till then, stay tuned!

Brutally Frank

 

Please note that the following is not intended to be a book review...

The last time I visited ‘Crossword’ book store, a very flashy title caught my eye – ‘Think Big and Kick ***** in business and life’. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the cover picture. It belonged to none other than Donald Trump, American real estate magnate and TV celebrity (‘The Apprentice’ fame). One of the review comments mentioned on the paperback was “Trump’s version of the Secret”. I was gifted with a revelation when I browsed the contents. Only a Donald Trump can be so brutally frank and realistic while writing a book meant to inspire and motivate. Jaggi Vasudev once said that a true Guru is the one who shakes up a person and drags him out of his comfort zone. This is exactly what Trump dishes out, practical wisdom and an aggressive approach to achieve one’s big dreams. ‘Attack is the best form of defense’… This seems to be Trump’s approach and he has very frankly illustrated by citing instances from his own life. These instances are about how he tasted victory in defeat and defeat in victory, how he was down but never out.

After reading the above para, many folks will surely google out info by copy pasting ‘Donald Trump’. They are sure to come across the fact that Trump is the son of a wealthy real estate developer. Upon encountering this, many a person would feel that Donald Trump had it easy. Most people have this false perception that the second and third generation business tycoons have it easy and get everything on the platter, so to say. I beg to differ, personally, even if I had to inherit a billion dollar business, I would still find it very much a pain to learn on the job from my dad. I am very certain that taking over the reins is a daunting task and not just a joyride in a Mercedes with a laptop. Vijay Mallya could capture the imagination of an entire generation and the generations to come by daring to revive a very old Kingfisher brand of beer. The brand no longer represents only a brew but an entire lifestyle which includes a domestic airline (I swear by the service). The Ambani brothers have gone ahead and truly made Reliance a very popular and recognizable brand. Innovation and not inheritance is the name of the game when it comes to these successful gen-nex tycoons.

Donald Trump admits to having his share of the limelight and fun. The following is short excerpt which I leave you with….

“People always ask me, “How did you get so rich?” The way I do things has allowed me to succeed financially far beyond what I had expected. I have had a lot of fun, and I have made a lot of money. I have known many celebrities, billionaire businesspeople, and superstar sports figures. It is not easy to explain in a couple of words, but I have noticed that all these successful people have traits that set them apart from the pack: their attitudes, actions, persistence, and passion, plus a whole slew of other qualities that separate the winners from the losers. “