Friday, May 18, 2012

Relationship - a meeting of personal realities

We are seeing a phase where relationship issues and conflicts are becoming common day by day. I would wonder why this happens, till I realized something very important. Let me explain with a simple scenario.

“Boy meets girl, somehow boy likes girl and girl likes boy. They decide to be in some relationship and all is rosy and lovely. One fine day, conflict XYZ happens between boy and girl and there seems to be no way out of the blame games and ego clashes. Finally, relationship goes for a toss. “

This might be an oversimplified version of events taken from a third person’s perspective. It made me wonder, boy knows girl and girl knows boy, so why is it that they cannot resolve the matter?

Over time I realized from my own experiences that relationship is a meeting of two individuals having their own personal realities. Their personal realities are two different worlds and both of them are aliens to the others world. Yes, sounds crazy but this is the truth. So what stops boy from knowing girl’s reality and vice versa. Well did they really care to know? The fact is that they don’t really care because they are busy pushing their own agendas and making oneself right. Also, there is a deep inhibition for expressing ones concerns fearing a reaction or indifference.

Knowing each other’s world is not stepping into personal freedom but truly stepping into our partner’s shoes with empathy to make our relationships work. It is time that we have another look at the way we perceive relationships and make a shift from filling voids in our own life with relationships to truly sharing and understanding each other’s wholeness and depth.